A Note to Courtney Love

Mr. Helpful got the scoop that Courtney, Courtney, Courtney is back in hot water.

How is it right that Martha Stewart goes to jail but Courtney never does?

Dear Courtney:
I love ya gal and everything, inspite of the constant crazy, but you really deserve some quality time in the hooskow. Not just a night or two - maybe like the same as Martha got. It seems you need at least five months of "supervised activities" to help you with goal setting and life focus.

In the Big Girl department, let's let Kirstie Alley be "the crazy one" for awhile. Yeah, I know you'll have to do some major re-scaling of your projects to even get in scope with Kirstie. You'll have to lay off your Substances Engineers, let somebody else use the Crazy Crane, trash the MeltDown Crescendo Towers blueprints, and disassemble the nine story structure you've spent years building. I know! I know! It was going to be the biggest insanity structure in the world. And a frightful mess it would have been. But you don't have Howard Hughes' money, so let's take it down, sell the land, and spend just a few years in place called Calm.
--Chai-rista