Truly Bad Films

Thursday, October 27, 2005

So Hip It Hurts

Have you been as annoyed as I have by the Ameriprise Financial Commercials? They're on almost 47 times an hour. Thank God I'm not a Boomer! I'd hate to think any company could prosper with that shameless, balls-out, pandering to my demographic.

The voice over in the commercial actually says, "You're the generation that gave new meaning to the meaningful relationship, and we can relate to that."

Excuse me while I clear the upchuck from my throat. "Gave new meaning to the meaningful relationship?" Is this an oblique reference to "free love?" Considering the background music, "Gimme Some Lovin," I have to assume so. If Ameriprise is all about free love, willing to "put out" in 1960's "lingo," and is eager for us to know it . . . are they the boy or the girl?

Somehow I'm thinking they're the boy. This means their theme song really ought to be "Whole Lotta Love" 'cause I'm betting they want to give you "every inch of their love." They want to be your "back door man." Here they come! Bend over! And they can relate! Wow. What a great company, 'cause, like, y'know - they can relate!

I imagine the 20-somethings who created this commercial at the ad agency laughing themselves wet over this copy. "I know! I know, Marty!" I can hear one of them saying, "Let's say 'we can relate' and then they'll be all 'tuned in' and 'turned on' and dropped into Ameriprise-hip conjuring a nostalgic veneer of pot smokery fun and patchoulisex vibe! They'll buy it!!! I know they will!!!"


At 7:42 PM, Anonymous G A Rich said...

Just Relax, never mind the deeper existential problems of trying to function as a coherent consciousness in an epistemologically ambiguous physical universe.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Chai-rista said...

But Riiiiiiich - I. Want. To!
(Stamping feet for emphasis.)

At 1:40 PM, Anonymous red said...

Oh my God, you are SO RIGHT. It's a way of validating that they're still cool, still "progressive", whatever ... It's nauseating. Nauseating!!

At 4:46 PM, Anonymous Jeff said...

The commercials that I hate the most are the onjes that use surfing to sell cars, clothes, feminine products, etc. As a lifelong surfer, I find it offensive for them to use my lifestyle to sell shit. I really can't wait until surfing goes back underground.




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