Turkey Day Meme

What a perfect day for a lazy post! We had SNOW yesterday, peeps! Snow on the Eve of Thanksgiving means . . . um, that it's my year to win the lottery, right? Well, anyway, I've never seen snow on Thanksgiving before and this is my 12th year in central Virginia.

Ok - on to meme fun . . .

HAVE YOU EVER:

Smoked a cigarette or tried it: Yes. I quit on October 22 of this year. Yay for me! No more nasty ciggy breath.

Crashed a friend's car: No.

Stolen a car: Nope

Been dumped: Yes, my first boyfriend dumped me by telephone.

Shoplifted: Yes, a tube of lipstick in college.

Been fired /laid off: No.

Been in a fist fight: Girls do slap fights. It was 7th grade.

Snuck out of your parent's house: Nope.

Been arrested: No

Gone on a blind date: Yes - that's how I met Pep! We had great mutual friends who spotted the potential.

Lied to a friend: Probably, but not in the last many years.

Skipped school: Skipped classes in college, but never in high school.

Seen someone die: No - thank God.

Been to Canada: No.

Been to Mexico: No.

Eaten Sushi: Yes.

Met someone in person from the internet: Yes! More than a few.

Taken pain-killers: I don't know anyone who hasn't.

Had a tea party: No.

Cheated while playing a game: Yes - probably.

Fallen asleep at work: No.

Used a fake ID: Never - back in my day the drinking age was 18.

Felt an earthquake: Yes - We had one in VA just a couple of years ago. I thought someone was rolling a chunk of granite the size of a boxcar across the roof of the library. It made noise! I didn't know it would do that, for real. Then the filing cabinets started knocking against each other and squeaking. And then I thought, "OMG! Is it an earthquake?" And then it stopped. Freaky!

Touched a snake: Yes - many. Just last summer I had to cut tangled bird net off a black snake. I had left the net on the ground and the snake was trying to crawl through. It got so bound around him he couldn't move. Snakes stink when they get scared. They smell like burning rubber - they're more than a leetle skunky. But after I gave him a drink of water he calmed down.

Been robbed: My umbrella was stolen once.

Petted a reindeer/goat: I think I've petted a goat. Not that memorable, as events go.

Won a contest: Yes, I won a poetry writing competition in college. Also, I won a doll as a kid for coloring. Woo me!

Been suspended from school: No.

Been in a car accident: Yes - but I was never the cause.

Had braces: No.

Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night: Yes - damn them, Ben & Jerry!

Witnessed a crime: If hearing a domestic altercation is witnessing, yes.

Swam in the ocean: Yes - Atlantic only.

Sung karaoke: Not yet.

Paid for a meal with only coins: Can't remember.

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose: Hasn't every American?

Been kissed under mistletoe: Not under real mistletoe - just the plastic kind.

Crashed a party: Um - not really.

Worn pearls: Yes - my wedding day.

Jumped off a bridge: Nope.

Ate dog/cat food: Is tasting eating? Then, yes.

Kissed a mirror: Every morning and night! Ok - kidding.

Glued your hand to something: I've glued my fingers together. It might have been on purpose.

Done a one-handed cartwheel: Can't even do a two-handed one!

Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours: Nah.

Didn't take a shower for a week: My hygiene holidays are usually shorter.

Pick and ate an apple right off the tree: Yes. How about "grew the apple" too? Yep.

Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot: Listen, I'm 44 and I work at a women's college. Not long ago some young bucks who were supposed to be doing landscaping drove by me as I walked across campus and they did the "hot pants hoot." I couldn't believe it. I thought, "All these 17 year old babes around here, and you're hooting at me? Well, ok."

I think they were overcome with excitement at being surrounded (theoretically) by women (I was the only one visible at the moment) and they experienced a moment of pre-mature hootulation. "Oh, shit! She's OLD!" they probably said right after losing the hoot. But the "men-who-you-don't-know-think-you're-worth-leering-at-and-
-are-being-super-obvious-about-it" has happened pretty often, in one way or other.

But, you know what - I'm sure Kathy Kinney has been told she was hot by a complete stranger at some point. It's like Heidi Fleiss once said, "Men will *uck mud!" They'll say/do anything if they think there's a herring's fart of a chance of bumpage.

Lifted from CootieHog.