Truly Bad Films

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Like a Blister in the Sun . . .

At last - we've been assimilated by the borg of home improvement. Since December 15th there is a Home Depot within 50 miles of my home. I went there today for the first time and . . . heigh-yo hotties! Seems like they've gone out of their way to hire dashing young studs (haha - get it - studs?!) aged 27 to 35 with exceptional looks and charm. The crew at Lowe's ain't got nuttin on the Home Depot Hotties. It's too bad too, in a way, because the item I needed I didn't find at Home Depot, inspite of their alluring young staff. Made my second stop at Lowe's and found it there. Score one for Lowe's. They might not look as good but they deliver.

So, inspite of all setbacks, I've managed to nearly finish the repair work on my corner cupboard. I started to nail the back sheet on tighter - but the nail wouldn't go in straight. So I said, "Screw it." (hahahaha - I'm on a roll tonight! I'll be here all week!) Screws, people. Four inch screws. If you can't cut a miter, use four inch screws.

Lookit - I learned a couple of woodworking terms in the process. A miter is an angled cut across the face of a board. So, it was a miter cut that I needed to make, but I don't have the right saw. The cut you see on the corners of door moulding is called a bevel. Aren't you glad you came by TBF for today's woodworking lesson?

So, I've got my head inside the cupboard painting it and I'm seized by an urge to sing a cupboard painting song by the Violent Femmes:
When I'm a walking, I strut my stuff, then I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite, I just might, stop to check you out
Let me go on, like a blister in the sun
Let me go on, big hands I know you're the one
It sounded really good in the depths of my cupboard and it gave me extra paintbrushing energy. That, or the fumes. Anyway, tomorrow I just have to attach the glider feet, add scratch cover, polish the wood, clean the shelves and the glass, and it'll be as fetching as a Home Depot sales stud. Maybe soon I'll go back to Hottie Depot and check out their miter saws . . . they won't have one, I'm sure, but hey . . . I'm only looking!


At 8:50 PM, Anonymous keysunset said...

Oooooh, I love it! You've combined teaching me a woodworking lesson with hotties and music - one of my favorites songs, too.

You are the best! But, hey, you already knew THAT didn't you!

heh heh heh, when I come to visit let's us let the guys babysit and you and I head down to Hottie Depot!

At 7:47 PM, Blogger Chai-rista said...

Yes M'am!


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