Truly Bad Films

Monday, January 02, 2006

Search Strings for 2006 - Day 1

Had a couple of interesting search strings for TBF yesterday. First, I hate to disappoint the lady or gentleman who came by looking for "christopher meloni penis" but we ain't got none of that here at TBF. May I direct your attention to seasons 1-4 of Oz on DVD? I'm sure you'll find what you're in need of there. (I should know - all four seasons sit on the shelf to my left.)

Then we got a tour group wanting "all sex and all bad films." "All sex" can usually be found at your local cult video store. But, if you want bad sex and bad film you have to go no further than a 1980's musical starring Olivia Newton-John called Xanadu. I haven't seen this puddle of disco vomit since the 80's, so I can't say for sure, but I remember it as being just awful in 12 dimensions. It's not even Truly Bad. It's just sour and smelly and filled with chunks of half-digested marshmallowy songs. If it's notable in any way, the note comes from the fact that Bebe Neuwirth (who later became famous as Frasier's wife Lillith and who was fantastic in Summer of Sam) had an atom-sized part as a dancer. Also, Gene Kelly somehow got hosed into this pink-tinted slimy pool of ejecta.

The only reason I remember it at all is that it was so painfully stupid I thought I'd put out my eyes before the credits rolled and there is a vapor-afflicted love scene where the word "Exstacy" flashes on the wall above the lovers in neon letters . . . just to let you know what's going on under all that vapor. That's right - I said "Exstacy." Apparently neon-sign-maker-spell-checker wasn't a crew position back in 1980. It might be worth renting it just to see this scene, but I doubt it. If you watch it you'll just get it on you and then you'll stink too.


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