Truly Bad Films

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Movie Review

Sahara (2005)

Dirk the treasure hunter goes up some river in Mali (that's Africa, chillin') to find an iron-clad battleship that last saw action in the American Civil War. That sentence alone ought to tell you everything you need to know about this movie. Is it stupid? Check! So unbelievable it made me laugh? Check! Eager to please, like a Spaniel puppy, but twice as dumb? Check!

And the costumes are fabu! One scene in particular has McConaughey's face swaddled in turquoise burnoose material which is topped by buff linen. This particular headdress looks so great on him he ought to wear it all the time. It make those blue eyes shine like headlights. I complained about the gorgeous costumes because they stole the scenes in Kingdom of Heaven, but in a half-assed comedy like this one, they can push it all they want with taffeta, toile and satin and I'll never complain.

But you know what? It didn't make the cut. It isn't Truly Bad. I think it fails because it's got this quasi-sincere plotline about environmental pollution and spreading disease in Africa. And pompous lines like "Nobody cares about Africa!" delivered to your lap like cabers at the Highland Games don't help. Michael Eisner's son directed it - and it was his first attempt at directing. So, he may achieve Truly Bad status in the future. But "stupid" in this movie doesn't go all the way to the bone. It seems to be trying to say Something Important under all the wacky dumbassery, and . . . we just can't have that!

3 Comments:

At 2:48 PM, Blogger bunnyjo georg said...

Even still, how bad can it be to stare at the Divine Mr. Matthew M for an hour and a half? Mmmmm....

You totally had me at the last line, tho:
...say Something Important under all that wacky dumassery...we can't have that!

No we can't! Priceless!

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger Chai-rista said...

He leans on the Southern accent here too. I guess he kind of does that all the time, but - yah, he's HOT!

 
At 7:32 AM, Blogger Erika said...

Blame it on the source material. The original book was supposedly crammed with pseudo-science and half-assed social awareness. The studio stripped almost all of it away and turned it into an action movie.

I was happy to see McConnaughey in a role that actually suited him. Dirk Pitt. Perfect! Forget the flat romantic comedies, he needs to do more silly action movies.

 

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