Scottish Sport Could Make Driving Safer

There can hardly be any argument that Scotland spawned the stupidist sports in the world. (Sorry Brother Snackpack4000 - It's true!) They invented the caber toss, the sheaf toss, and curling. But now, curling threatens to actually become useful to the tire industry by helping them understand more about friction and ice.

Like me, you might have seen curling and thought, WTF? Dudes, all that frenetic sweeping just looks . . . pitiful. I know the "sport" has been around thousands of years. I know it's been in the Olympics forever, but it looks like something they made up yesterday after a whiskey lunch. That's a SPORT?! C'mon!!!

Sweeping apparently causes a minute amount of ice melt which helps the curling stone slide further. So theses days the curlers are equipped with ergonomic feedback brooms that tell them if they need to sweep harder or faster. Let me repeat - That's a SPORT?! How in the tower of tartan is that a sport? But, anyway, scientists are studying these brooms to make tires that will have more friction on ice. Proving that nothing in this retarded world is ever wasted, I suppose . . .