Truly Bad Films

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Weatherman Goes Pulp Fiction on Groundhog Day

Roanoke TV weekend weatherman Matt Lamont* just couldn't take it anymore. The hordes of screeching fans who tore at him like lions on a wildebeest as he left the WSLS station each Saturday and Sunday night, thought of him like meat. It was crazy the way women and men alike begged on their knees to pleasure him, exposing themselves and throwing bling, drugs and underwear, hoping for a glance. And to the 10 percenters, the hangers-on and the flunkies who kissed his ass and bought him drugs, he was nothing but a gravy train; a gold mine. The yes-men, the liars, the lifestyle, were too much. And then came Groundhog Day.

Groundhog Day - the most self-abasing day of the year for weathermen. The day when the best computers and mathematical models man designs don't matter. The day when fronts, millibars and radar are meaningless. The tragic day when a "large squirrel" as Bill Murray put it, trumps human ingenuity to cast a prediction the country respects more than the U.S. Government itself. It was Groundhog Day when Matt almost ended his life with a heroin overdose.

It's true! A local weatherman went Pulp Fiction style on Groundhog Day.

Pep predicted it! Sort of. He always called Matt "Rummy" because he'd come on the air red-faced and watery-eyed as often as not. It was clear to anyone with a careful eye that there was something wrong with the guy, but I assumed he was ill and that his medication put him off-kilter . . . Well, it was his medication!

*Matt Lamont is not his real name, but you can read his real name in the articles linked above.


At 1:59 PM, Anonymous keysunset said...

Chai-rista, you and I tend to think the best of people. Thinking Mr. Weatherguy was just and taking sinus meds or some such.

Don't change tho' darlin'! That's one of the things I love about you.

I hope this guy gets the help he needs and gets his life straightened out.

At 2:00 PM, Anonymous keysunset said...

sorry - should have said " ... was just sick ..."

At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Pep said...

Yeah, Key, we're a long way from the cheerful, geeky, clear-eyed and sober Mr. Greg Fishel up here.

Of course, Fishel happens to be insane. But he didn't need any chemical help to get there!


At 9:43 PM, Anonymous keysunset said...

I enjoy the fact that Fish-head can give us reliable weather forecast/report, but I might go postal some night he makes one too many bad puns ....


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