Truly Bad Films

Sunday, February 26, 2006

What Not To Pierce (Ongoing Series - Pt. 47)

A gal in her 40's walked into the diner one day last week wearing a midriff sweater that exposed a medium-sized jelly roll. Right in the center of her over-tanned belly-bulge a spangly, silver set of keys dangled from the fat below her belly-button. Since I'd never seen anyone make themselves into a walking key ring before, I did a double take.

It wasn't a key ring. It was a silver "dreamcatcher" with silver "feathers." OmG!!

I keep telling the world not to pierce its unsightly body parts and the world does not listen. But this is a whole new intensity of offense on three levels. First, there is the run-of-the-mill violation of good taste in that she just HAD to put some kind of metal in the middle of her over-sized belly. In addition, she braised her porkbelly to a ripe, well-done steak-brown so the metal would be extra visible. And THEN she went out and found herself a piece of midi-jewelry that looked as close as possible to a set of keys to her boyfriend's trailer, the Goodwill truck she drives, the padlock on the shed behind her momma's house and her locker at the bus station. How chic!


At 10:27 AM, Anonymous keysunset said...

Aaacckk! And you just had to share this with us didn't you.

I wonder what my children will be coming home wanting/with!

At 11:18 AM, Blogger GG said...

Chai: Ya don't have to worry about me not listening to the "What not to pierce" I got my ears pierced when I was 16 and since I don't like pain (it hurts me) I won't be pierceing anything else...;)

At 10:50 PM, Blogger worshipnaked said...

Good LORD!!! A dreamcatcher with feathers?? Isn't that the thing you hang on your rearview mirror??

At 9:08 AM, Blogger Chai-rista said...

Yes! It's something you usually see on the rearview mirror. A pair of fuzzy dice might have looked better ...

At 9:21 PM, Anonymous keysunset said...

fuzzy dice, huh,

then she might have had a "fuzzy navel" and you could have kicked her out of the library.


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