Truly Bad Films

Sunday, February 26, 2006

What Not To Pierce (Ongoing Series - Pt. 47)

A gal in her 40's walked into the diner one day last week wearing a midriff sweater that exposed a medium-sized jelly roll. Right in the center of her over-tanned belly-bulge a spangly, silver set of keys dangled from the fat below her belly-button. Since I'd never seen anyone make themselves into a walking key ring before, I did a double take.

It wasn't a key ring. It was a silver "dreamcatcher" with silver "feathers." OmG!!

I keep telling the world not to pierce its unsightly body parts and the world does not listen. But this is a whole new intensity of offense on three levels. First, there is the run-of-the-mill violation of good taste in that she just HAD to put some kind of metal in the middle of her over-sized belly. In addition, she braised her porkbelly to a ripe, well-done steak-brown so the metal would be extra visible. And THEN she went out and found herself a piece of midi-jewelry that looked as close as possible to a set of keys to her boyfriend's trailer, the Goodwill truck she drives, the padlock on the shed behind her momma's house and her locker at the bus station. How chic!

5 Comments:

At 10:27 AM, Anonymous keysunset said...

Aaacckk! And you just had to share this with us didn't you.

I wonder what my children will be coming home wanting/with!

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger GG said...

Chai: Ya don't have to worry about me not listening to the "What not to pierce" I got my ears pierced when I was 16 and since I don't like pain (it hurts me) I won't be pierceing anything else...;)

 
At 10:50 PM, Blogger worshipnaked said...

Good LORD!!! A dreamcatcher with feathers?? Isn't that the thing you hang on your rearview mirror??

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger Chai-rista said...

Yes! It's something you usually see on the rearview mirror. A pair of fuzzy dice might have looked better ...

 
At 9:21 PM, Anonymous keysunset said...

fuzzy dice, huh,

then she might have had a "fuzzy navel" and you could have kicked her out of the library.

 

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