Aural Wasabi

Another re-post from ancient ages gone before . . . or something . . .

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Ever just sit there at work, tapping away on the keyboard when a ghost of Chinese hot mustard flits into awareness, teasing your sinuses with a memory of delicious pain, then vaporizes leaving you with this unbearable craving to line up at the local Chinese buffet? Yeah - it happens, but most of the hot mustard in central VA doesn't have enough horseradish in it to singe away the lethargy of a humdrum weekday.

So what then? What can you do to reproduce the head clearing effects of high quality horseradish in a low heat-tolerance world?

Go aural wasabi my friend. I know of a handful of songs that actually hurt to listen to them - but at the same time they feel good, as if they scratch an itch inside your brain. They satisfy that brain itch that's been annoying you so long because you never could get at it before.

Of the three songs I have in mind, the Pixies "Subbacultcha" is the least painful, yet it provides a fairly potent head clearing effect. With it's Peter Gunn rhythms and insanely beautiful lyrics, this is wasabi for the ears that even heat weenies can enjoy.

Taking a step up on the heat scale, the Pixies "Vamos" is a bit more of a challenge. Frank Black screams like a deaf Alzheimer's patient and then simply rocks out in his wheelchair, while Joey Santiago scrubs the scabs off your mosquitoe bites with his guitar strings. Now we're warming up!

But the perfect top-of-the-head lifting aural heat comes from the White Stripes on "There's No Home For You Here." Turn it up LOUD and let the Queen-inspired squall cut through your head like a wire saw. Ooooohh, the PAIN. The first few times you'll hardly be able to stand it. Your eyes will brim with tears. And then you'll find yourself wanting it. Playing it twice in a row to prolong the experience. Finding excuses to take short drives during the day just so you can be split open by it. Yeah - aural wasabi. It'll get its hooks in you . . . if it hasn't already.

What's your horseradish?